Not okay today

I woke up late - too late to be able to make it to the 12:30 meeting and my dear friend Bunny (that's what I will call him) wrote something (in response to something I posted) awful on my facebook page. So I cancelled my plans with him for lunch and I went back to bed. I feel sick. It really made me feel sorry for myself again and I was like - forget it. Forget show business - forget putting anything out there - I can't handle it. I should just seriously move back to Ct. Get an art teaching job. Figure out how to get a real job. I guess God doesn't want me to be an artist like this - here - but Christ - I don't know what to do. Soooo fucking depressing. See - I feel sorry for myself. But it is sad. I erased what he wrote and then I erased the whole thing. It was so over the top and not funny. He kept saying he got f@#$ed in the a$$ and he didn't know who was f#$%ing him in the a$$ and then he realized he was in a gang bang. He wrote that. Only he said f#@%ed in the ass a few more times. It was on my wall for 2 hours before I saw it. I need to pray and meditate before I make it to the meeting and then work. Work. Depressing.