Bunny wrote me the sweetest message tonight

and it had nothing to do with his a$$ f!@#ing post - which by the way was actually funny. But this comedian Greg Giraldo died of an overdose and they are saying it's an accident but he has had drug problems for a long time. Addiction problems. It's so sad - he was really funny - and really nice. And he has little kids. So Bunny sent me a message saying how grateful he is that I'm in his life and that I'm sober and doing step work. Which made me think about why I am so sensitive to anything he says. I don't want to write about it now but a long time ago - 8 years ago I did - or I think I did something to hurt him. I need to say sorry and I need to free myself. And also I made plans with him and I had REALLY planned on sending a text to the guy who I need to do my first amends to. SO why did I do something that wasn't necessary and then also get soooo upset about a really funny post because part of me thinks my dear supportive friend is harboring some resentment against me?? I'm crying now it's so fucking sick and sad. And I have to free myself. I can do that now. Well anyway I sent the guy who I need to do the amends to a message and asked if he could have coffee sometime in the next week. I think I will leave him a message on Facebook also. Well okay - the beat goes on. Please help me to help myself blog. If you have that power. You must - your name is Blueberries and Dreams. What?? That's not even funny - but it is true.