Hot Rage on a Cool Day

Ugh I am so filled with rage.  My neighbor has been blow-drying his fucking driveway for over 3 hours.  WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT!??  I mean okay fine but did he have to start at 8 in the morning?  I just have the worst PMS and I am so overwhelmed by my relationship, changing jobs and the grief of my Father dying.  We went to the farm again yesterday to see the family and it's so hard traveling there.  I just can't believe he's not going to be there and it's such a sad feeling going to a party and knowing he's gone.  IT's just so fucking heart breaking.  MY guy came with me and we got in a fight on the way there - it was awful.  He's sad too and it's hard for him too.  Then we got there and it was okay - we laughed and my Mom was so happy we were there.  And then we all sat around trying to figure out what the fuck to do.  I mean he ran that farm and he was the boss so no one knows what to do - I mean except of course Drunk Guy.  He somehow knows everything to do - EXCEPT how to take care of the Christmas trees.  My brother and my guy had a talk with him and he said sorry for yelling at me.  But he said it like this "Sorry for yelling at you (slightly sarcastically)"  then I looked back at him and he gave me this snide look like a 5 year old.  Ha!  And he dresses like Rambo.  So when he HAS clothes on - they are Rambo clothes - complete with the fucking bandana around his head.  UGH - he kills me.  Anyway that's what I'm going to call him - Rambo.  Rambo sons is gay - flaming gay.  He wears a scarf too but around his neck like a lady.  Ugh I'm so sad.  I have an audition this afternoon.  I need to do my hair now and get ready for it.  I'm overwhelmed with being in a relationship and "answering" to somebody - even though that's not really what it is.  He wants my attention and I'm still not used to spending so much time with someone - even though I love him and I WANT to spend tons of time with him.  I just have PMS and I can't handle anything.  I'm overwhelmed by my work here too.  At least I'm IN my office right now writing this.  Yes.  I am going to have to go help plant trees.  They need so much help there and the Albanian helper is going back to Albania.  Okay.  And I'm not doing any comedy!  It's crazy.  It's just not happening.  Oaky I'm going to take some more midol - I'm a mess and HE'S FUCKIGN BLOW-DRYING AGAIN!!  UGh bye.