A trying day so far and I slept

through most of it. Well I went to bed at around 1:30 ish?? Yes so I could get up and go to the 10:00 a.m. meeting but it was freezing and I had trouble sleeping and I got up at 8:30 and just went back to bed. Till almost 1:00. Oh dear I had such a healthy day yesterday and I'm not upset that I slept - I needed it. And I felt better after I did. But I am freaking out over this one guy whom I don't even know and more than that I had dreams about him all night and they were so weird. I'm so upset that I got called off from work last night and I won't be able to pay my rent on time now and oh I just remembered I have PMS. So okay. Oh dear. I'm just not in a good place right at this moment that's all. I spent all day yesterday saying to myself that I accepted whatever nasty thought or attitude came up in me and it really helped. And now he's doing laundry and SLAMMING doors like a mad fucking person. How has he never fixed that fucking washer or why doesn't he just use COLD WATER?? Jesus Christ. I'm really upset and stressed out. I feel like I'm in the same place I always am. And whatever those dreams were were so painful. My inner life is so pained. Why don't I think that is funny? And now I'm exhausted. That washer sounds like it's going to seriously blow up soon. I guess when it does he will fix it. Well that amused me a little bit. Oh my poor career that is no longer. I accept my horrible attitude and of course I'm annoyed by this awful washer - it's awful. I accept, I accept.