I don't know what I want.

I'm panicking. I was all into performing again and then I hit a ceiling so fast. What the heck? I'm completely freaked out and nothing is reveling itself and nothing is changing. It all just stays the same except not in a good way. Fuck I'm so fucked. I feel mother fucking tortured and more behind than ever. I can't catch up and I don't even know if I want to. But I do want to feel better, feel alive and feel passion. I just feel lost and gross. With rage and deep sadness spliced in. I am a fucking bed of sadness I am. I'm fucking miserable and I don't feel like writing a stupid fucking song about it or whatever. I'll try to I guess. I'm accepting of my misery. Accept that I'm alone and I'm a waitress and I live in a crazy house. Bye.