Sunday.

It's Sunday and I am back in my bed but just so I can write - I'm not sick today.  I'm tired but I feel okay.  We watched Hidden Figures last night - holy shit what a great movie!  The guy has been trying to get me to watch that movie but I didn't want to because I thought it would be boring.  Omg!  It wasn't even a little bit boring!!  Anyway it was fantastic.  I am still run down from the chemo but I have been resting a lot so I'm somewhat okay today.  I am breaking out now is the only thing.  For some reason I have pimples ALL over my face.  the pussy kind.  Wait that's not the right word.  Pusy?  How do you spell puss - pus?  OMG!  I have to look it up.  OH - the correct word is purulent.  I HAVE PURULENT PIMPLES ON MY FACE.  Okay.  Okay great.  We all learned something here and that's that everyone will still say pussy pimples and mean pusy not pussy.  OKAY GREAaaaaat.  Well anyway.........

So I am bald, I don't have any eyelashes and most of my eyebrows are gone.  I have pimples all over my face and the hair that I do have growing in is WHITE.  However what's positive?  I have been able to rest - a lot and that's because my guy is being incredible patient and kind while I heal.  I took a nap for 2 hours yesterday after we went for a 45 minute walk.  Holy cow!  I've had so much love and support from so many people and the jobs that I do have are being SO NICE while I get better and just go when I can.  Okay so that's great right?  When I put on my makeup and wigs I look fine.  I'm so happy it's winter - I've said it before but I will say it again.  This would have been so hard if it were Summer.  Wearing a wig in the heat!?  Good Lord.  Now what else??

I have a show tonight.....I'm so tired but I think I am excited for the show.  The guy is going to bring me and he just loves going to shows so that will be fun too.  I'm going to see someone who is exhausting to see but I have told myself it's practice and also - isn't there always someone who is exhausting to see?  It's just patience and self-care....I just can practice saying hi, keeping my feet on the ground, taking care of myself, breathing and conserving my energy.  DOESNT THAT SOUND FUN.  I would die if someone had to do all that just to fucking say hi to me.  I'm sure people used to have to do that!  I was a hot fucking mess to be around good lord.  Charming but exhausting.  Oooooo - I like that.  Charming But Exhausting.  I don't like it anymore.  Okay well LOVE you Bluebie - byeeeeee.