How Can I Get Quiet and Drink Enough Water

Okay SO.  I have decided that one of the things I have been doing these past bunch of years besides not eating well is not letting myself get quiet enough.  I have been meditating almost everyday but you know what?  I think I was phoning it in!  Just saying the mantra and getting quietISH but not really getting quiet - not really plugging in.  So okay I just want to give that to myself.  A truer meditation practice.  Also I don't drink enough water.  I have had trouble since I have been on the chemo since it makes me very dry and I just can't seem to drink enough of it.  I started to drink coconut water to help but then the guy suggested Smart water and I have been drinking that instead.  I think it has helped a little bit but I did some calculations today and realized I need to drink way more.  Anyway so that's what I have been thinking about this morning.....meditation and truly getting quiet and totally hydration.  Good Christ is this all so tedious or what?  I mean I am like sloooooowly doing all these things and I feel like I am in kindergarten or something.  It's okay and aren't I lucky I have the time to do all this.  I'm back in bed - I just love being in our bedroom lately....seeing the trees and sky outside the windows and the sun coming in - I just love it.  I guess I'm having some sort of spiritual awakening.  I was thinking about something this morning and I was getting tense, my shoulders were going up - right?  Then I let it go and my whole body felt different.  Oh my GOD - how am I going to go back to auditioning and doing stuff?  How am I going to take care of myself.  I need SO much to take care of myself now.  Yikes is this so self-centered?  Is it just self-centered enough?  What can I say - I got cancer and now I am VERY VERY concerned with healing and not having it come back.  I think I am entitled to that right?  COME ON.  This is making my boob hurt.  I am going to start meditating a second time during the day.  Or at night.  Twice.  I should do that and my tenth step at the same time - I mean meditate, then do the tenth step.  Well it's a nice, sunny day and we are going to go for a walk and get some groceries, then I will make dinner.  I made pasta last night and it was delicious.  Gluten free organic past with an organic tomato sauce with ground beef that was also organic.  Yum!  The guy loved it.  MAN do I fucking love cooking.  It makes me so fucking happy.  So that's nice and healing.  I love grocery shopping too.  It's fun.  Do you want to hear something really sick?  Last night I was doing the dishes and I thought to myself "I love doing the dishes."  WHO THE FUCK AM I???  A person who thrives on calm, quiet living.  That's who.  A person who loves to cook, grocery shop and do the dishes.  A person who also loves show business but has to be very careful how she operates herself in that business.  Okay now I'm going to read for a little bit till the guy comes home.  Love you Bluebie!  Byeeeee.