Guess Who Ate Their Way Through The Last 3 Days?

Probably a lot of people and me.  I ate so much and honestly it was all delicious.  I had pizza 3 times, ice cream, bacon, eggs, a burger, a honey glazed twist roll thing, McDonald's, soup, a scone, cereal, one single banana and I can't remember what else.  Well I don't know but I'm just a mess.  The fucking steroid really did a number on me this week and now - NOW get this - no radiation because I probably need more surgery.  Honestly I can't even talk about it.  I need another MRI.  I feel depressed.  I also feel extremely full.  I just ate a new version of Ben & Jerry's that was extremely worth it.  Well this is my last week of eating whatever.  I am going to start reading a book called "Sick & Tired" and ugh it's about adjusting your PH blah blah.  It's so hard to write about eating healthy when I have been just eating pizza for 3 days.  I guess today wasn't so bad it was just the ice cream that wasn't good - except for the part where it made me feel better.  Dear LORD who am I?  What?  Okay it's okay and I'm going to be okay.  I just need to get the MRI and worry about whatever then.  I think I'm shut down or something.  I'm sad.  I wanted to move on with my life and I am just now stuck in this fear of more surgery, more anesthesia, more healing at home while my life is on hold.  I feel sick.  Meanwhile I look so crazy.  I'm bloated from the steroid and the food and my hair - my hair is so crazy.  I look like Eminem - is that how you spell his name?  Christ.  Maybe I will try to read this book my sponsor told me to read a month ago.  Okay it's okay.  I'm going to be okay.  It's going to be okay.  Big sigh little sigh it's alright.  I'm sad and in a little bit of shock but it's okay.  I'm home, I did the dishes and the great part?  IM ALONE haha.  Oooookay.  Love you Blubie bye.