EVERYBODY CALM DOWN - YES I STILL GET PMS

Isn't that exciting?  I am getting PMS even though the chemo is most likely going to make me go through menopause.  Maybe it's the PMS from menopause.  The DVD player on this computer just popped open and scared the shit out of me.  So anyway I have more chemo this week and that is terrifying.  Scary?  Both?  I don't know.  Self-care is the ticket.  I am almost completely bald except for a bunch of patches.  Because my hair is so thick the patches are like little razor blades.  It is a rough look to say the least.  It looks like one of those mangy dogs that's chews at itself.  Ha it's awful.  I am wearing the wigs but they are awful.  Well I only have 2 and 1 is awful.  It's super cute with a hat on but with the hat off - yikes.  My sister said I looked like a serial killer last night.  That was sweet!  Anyway I can get some more wigs.  I have a show tonight.....I'm so nervous because the wig looks like a wig.  I mean the good wig that I have?  It still looks like a wig - just not as awful.  I wore it onstage last week and the audience said it looked like a wig.  There must be something I can do with it to make it look better.  I'm going to play around with it today.  They are fairly uncomfortable to wear and since I have those patches of hair they catch on the wig.  CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT?  What am I going to do when my eyebrows and eyelashes fall out?  I will just get onstage and fucking talk about it.  That's what I did last week - fuck it.  I am not sure about tonight though - I have never performed at this place.  It's a challenge.  That's all - it's a challenge.  Accept the challenge and do my best.  Yeah.  Make a choice.  Get some more hats and wigs.  Yeaaaaah.  Okay love you Bluebie bye.