Sick Day.

Well today is a sick day.....I got that shot yesterday that makes me sick today but then I guess keeps me from getting a different kind of sick.  I had the last intense chemo on Tuesday and made it through somehow.  Can you believe this shit though?  I still can't believe it.  Except for the part where I didn't feel good a lot of the time.  I watched a TV show that I worked on - one of those episodics - and I looked so very tired and like I didn't feel well.  I worked on that just a month or two before I found out about the cancer.  I had cancer then!  Unbelievable.  Or very believable.  I don't know.  I don't know but I am almost done with this day - I slept for most of it and now it's getting dark.  I have on the diffuser with the lavender oil in it to help with the nausea.  For the next round of chemo they said I don't need this shot so I won't get as sick.  I wont actually have as many side effects.  I wont be as nauseas.  I will still be bald for awhile.  I guess I just have to practice acceptance.  My hair will grow back and I wont feel like this even so much by Saturday.  Also this is making me better.  And the cancer is out of me.  Wow right?  What the fuck.  The guy is bringing us dinner - I cant wait to see him.  I have been lonely today.  I can barely move though and talking on the phone sounds exhausting.  Lonely but not able to communicate very well.  Do I feel sorry for myself or what?  Good Lord.  Im going to turn on the TV and watch something - that will help.  Something funny.  Love you Bluebie bye.