My Pubes Fell Out First - A Cancer Love Story

I still have all the hair on my head but yesterday in the shower my pubes fell out.  I WAS SO UPSET.  What?  I KNOW.  It was completely shocking to me.  I was crying.  My boyfriend came in and comforted me - it was so ridiculous.  I was crying and laughing at the same time.  I just kept pulling it out - I couldn't believe it.  I thought all the hair on my head would fall out and then later the hair on my body and last my eyebrows and eyelashes.  I thought that's what everyone said.  That is what everyone said.  Come on - of course I would lose my pubes first.  God wants me to keep my sense of humor.  Here's another thing that happened that made me laugh.....My friend got in touch with me and asked me how I was (very sweet).  I said I felt sick and fluish from the chemo - said it felt like the flu.  She then said "I just got the flu shot - I hope I don't get the flu."  Then I said it wasn't the flu - it was the chemo and she sent me an emoji of a crying face.  HA.  "I hope I don't get the flu."  I HOPE YOU DON'T GET THE FLU TOO!  OR CANCER!  I mean I really laughed - I was like are you fucking kidding me?  It was so sweet of her to reach out but she just couldn't keep herself from being self-centered I guess.  Jesus I feel guilty writing this.  It was just funny.  Who the fuck knows where she was coming from.  The flu is terrifying for sure.  Anyway I still don't have my pubes.  We had a lovely weekend - went to the farm, celebrated my Mom's birthday, spent time with the kids.....went for a walk around the trees it was wonderful.  It brought up a lot...it always does I guess.  I miss my father so much - I said a toast for him at her party - I feel like everyone has just forgotten him....I know that's not true but ugh I don't know.  It's only been a year and a half.  I just feel his lack of presence so much.  It's just sad.  I miss him - really that's what it is - I miss him so much.  Ah life.  More chemo this week.  I was crying all morning.  My spirit is healing in such a profound way - truly.  This has helped me in so many ways.  But the physical pain is so scary.  I am accepting though and I have surrendered.  But I am still crying about it.  Haha.  CRYING GOOD AND HARD ABOUT IT!  Okay well I want to go for a walk and enjoy this day before I am sick from the chemo.  Love you Bluebie bye.