Self-care with Heart

I am home on the couch.....I was supposed to go get a CAT scan this morning but I just couldn't do it.  I have my period and it's a rough one - I'm not sure if it's the chemo or what - and anyway it's not that...it's this....that I just didn't want to go today and be poked and prodded.  I wanted to take care of myself.  From a beautiful and wonderful place inside of myself.  It's my friend who always says "You don't have to say yes even if it's because you want to sit on the couch and paint your nails."  I can just say no because I'm overwhelmed and tired and I want to let my sweet body restore in a healthy, kind way.  I called them as soon as I thought they were open in order to cancel and the guy WAS SO NICE that I started crying when I got off the phone.  He was like it's okay you don't have to come, think about when you want to come in , you don't have to figure it out right now.  I wasn't even being hysterical!  I just said I can't come in today.  Mind blown.  Side note the guy is at court right now AGAIN for Batshit Crazy Pants.  Did I write on here how she is trying to - ugh look - I can't do this right now.  It feels so toxic.  Today is about healing.  I just hope he's okay.  I think she has a lawyer with her and he doesn't.  Well crazy doesn't stop happening just because we are struggling I guess.  That is the perfect name for her - Batshit Crazy Pants Barbara Driscoll.  Okay what happened to healing?  Ha.  Okaaaaay.  Well I have a bunch of things to do and I want to go for a walk.  Love you Bluebie bye.