Shame, Humiliation and other Love Stories.

So I wrote to you dear Blog last night about my teacher, my class and all the other boring things I did in my gloriously sober day yesterday.  Today I woke up feeling so much humiliation - I still feel it.  Embarrassed about how I performed in class, embarrassed about my teacher and my feelings for him - my old teacher.  I don't know.  I just woke up feeling ashamed.  Isn't that so terrible?  I feel like I can't really shake it today also - I just have this overall feeling of shame.  One woman was not watching me while I was doing my monologue - she kept putting her head down.  So of course I feel ashamed about that.  What exactly is my point?  I don't know - I just feel embarrassed and ashamed a lot and it's not fun.  It's such a gross feeling.  I didn't take a shower today so I feel gross about that too.  Why do I do that?  Um - am I beating myself up?  That is certainly not the idea.  Anyway - well what can I do?  It's how I feel right now.  I wish I could go for a jog and do yoga.  Okay - so embarrassment, shame and humiliation.  Fun!  Fun stuff on a Tuesday!  Love you Bluebie - may you never feel shame - you are amazing.