Oh I don't think any one is reading this anymore.....Ha

Okay so half the time I write on here and I feel like a person on a deserted island writing in a journal.  Who am I writing to and WHY am I doing this?  That being said I know there are 2 or 3 people - maybe 1 person who reads this - and for you - I write tonight.  For you and for me.  Thank you.  Sooooo - so today I felt crazy - unmanageable.  I woke up late because I got home from the show I hosted last night at 2:00 and I was exhausted.  It was a really fun show - I'm doing so much better performing wise - holy shit.  Okay that being said I was a mess today.  No shower, no cute outfit - in fact I wore the same outfit I wore yesterday - I just changed the skirt and my underwear.  HA - can you imagine - I took off all my clothes, slept, changed my underwear, put back on all the dirty clothes - BUT - put on a different skirt.  Jeez.  Well so I was upset about everything today but then people were shopping at the store and it was sunny and despite myself I got out of it.  I also had a real problem yesterday and part of today googling Meg Ryan pictures.  I just don't understand - okay but you know what - it's none of my business.  Oooookay - so.  So I called my jewelry manager mentor and we had a chat and ultimately she was like - just have fun - it's supposed to be fun.  MIND BLOWN ALL OVER AGAIN FOR EVERYTHING IN LIFE.  The show was FUN last night - that's why it was good.  I had fun last week performing - that and everything else I did to get ready for it was why it was good.  Ugh - duh.  So there you go.  That's what my new goal is.  One day at a time with all of this and have fun.  What the fuck else is there seriously?  Okay and also - I forgot what I was going to say.  I need to figure out how to be put together.  How do women do it?  How do people do it?  There are men that do it.  This and other mysteries - tomorrow night at 7:00.  I LOVE YOU BLUEBIE BYE.