omg hi

This is what I did the last 4 days.  I worked on Friday at my new job, went to therapy, went to class - got out at 11:30 and then woke up at 4:00 am to get to the set for 7:00 am call-time way the fuck - all the way out in Queens - shot till 5:00, went to work - WORKED, got home late got 5 hours of sleep - worked (OH AND GOT A COURT NOTICE TO PAY UP THE RENT OR GET THE FUCK OUT), went and shot another scene for the movie - got a ride there and back from the guy playing my husband - SO NICE, got a good night sleep, woke up and got to an audition and then got a filling done, went to a rehearsal, then - here's the most amazing part - went to a meeting - finally after 3 days, my phone wouldn't work at the meeting except for texting with this one guy who had relapsed - he came and met me and I stayed for another meeting with him.  MY HAIR LOOKED DIFFERENT after being at those meetings - amazing.  I mean isn't it crazy that my phone wouldn't work for anything but his texts?  I don't know.  I was so freaked out by that court letter I got I seriously almost had a heart attack.  I paid September and Augusts rent so I was beyond upset and confused until I called the lawyer this morning and I realized it said they wanted September and Octobers rent and it was dated from the 8th - so they didn't know I paid Septembers rent.  Um - do you know the most mortifying thing about the letter?  It said hello - you agreed to pay such and such amount on the 1st of every month and you haven't been - not those words exactly but mostly.  I was so mortified - of course - I agreed to pay and I don't want to - I want to do the exact opposite of what grown-ups do.  I want to agree to rules and then do whatever I want because that's what I decided I want to do.  What the fuck is that?  So - so I'm so not out of the woods at all with this shit.  How is this all going to work?  I need a miracle.  I need a miracle to get my shit together.  I need a miracle so I can grow the fuck up - seriously.  Thank God I got to those meetings tonight and I got to see that guy.  I'm so very tired.  Okay my sweetest Blueberry - I love you.  Bye - let's make this cyber space worth it.  What?