Are you fucking kidding me??

I got up for this Skype audition - don't hear from them - he's having "Skype issues" whatever that is - he asks to Facetime with me - which I have no fucking IDEA what that is - he's calls me - we do the audition over the FUCKING phone - then pause - "We won't need you for this time - can I call you in the future for a different reading?"  Then I was all sing songy and nice and told him to have a nice day and he just hung up.  I'm so annoyed - it reeks of smoke in here - I'm so fucking tired and frustrated - and old.  I just got rejected for a reading of a serial killer.  What is WRONG with me?  Why aren't I getting any work and why am I even DOING this?  I love it - that's why right?  I just wish I didn't feel so sick and I'm so freaked out by this smoke.  I even went out and tried to find where it's coming from.  I think it might be the man below me - his back windows have this shade pulled down all tight with like soot all over it - like cigarette smoke looking stuff.  Okay - well - I did it - I got up, went to the grocery store and got myself coffee, ate a healthy breakfast, took a shower and put on make-up and did the phone audition.  HA.  I couldn't have done that a year ago so THAT'S GOOD RIGHT?????  WHAT THE SERIOUS FUCK?????  I'm so sexually frustrated too - holy motherfuckness.  I need to exercise.  Jesus Fucking Christ - bye Bluebs - you're the tops.