Eye make-up remover and feelings.

Holy fuck - I feel so stupid.  I used Vaseline to take off my eye make-up last night instead of the eye make-up remover I was using and my eyes are SO MUCH BETTER TODAY.  I'm not even fucking kidding.  I mean I thought my eyes were red and sore from the second hand smoke and I'm sure it doesn't help - (which is what the eye doctor said) but it was just INSANE.  The shape of my eye was changing!!  I know that sounds dramatic but it's fucking true.  I was poisoning my own eye balls.  It's just like being a drunk - why am I so sick - oh because I'm dumping poisonous fluid into myself and my body, spirit and soul don't like it and can't THRIVE in it.  Well anyway - that's why I have always only liked natural products and food - I guess except drugs and alcohol - fuck - but I am SO sensitive.  Jesus - a year after using this stuff and I finally realize I can't use it.  I was so PROUD of myself for taking my eye make-up off before bed.  I never used to do that - not really.  Okay - so - whatever.  Here's the other thing - I was on the phone with someone this morning and I got annoyed and mad.  They switched something for umpteenth time and I get really scattered when things get switched constantly that are supposed to be a structured thing.  This person has also gotten upset with me when I forget after it's been switched and it made me SO FUCKING MAD that it's switched again.  This is my point.  It's annoying and I'm fucking allowed to be annoyed and have my feelings about it.  This is my final frontier I swear to God.  To have my feelings but not act on them.  THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING ANNOYED ABOUT SOMEONE WHO IS ANNOYING.  Fucking BOOM.  This is where I'm so alanonic I guess.  This is what it feels like though.  This person wants all this structure but then just changes it all the time and expects me to be really structured about that and I don't know - that seems unfair and - imbalanced.  I don't know - there's something else there but I can't figure it out right now.  Something good?  I went to dinner last night with some new friends and it was really nice.  Very uncomfortable and I didn't want to go but I was so glad I did.  I had a made a commitment and I kept it and I was so very glad I did.  GOD MY LIFE IS SO FASCINATING RIGHT NOW.  Bye Bluebie Ilove you.