Well here's to taking a pause and doing it more often.

I saw some family today and one of them asked me about my blog - this one and I said how it's anonymous - you know - because it is.  Then after the visit I thought I should tell them and  instead of writing tot hem which is what I really thought was a great idea - I wrote to my sister to ask if she thinks it would be okay to which  she calls me right away and says "Are you out of your fucking mind??"  So that was a good move on my part - pausing and then asking for advice.  That video I shot last night was so much gay sex - I made out with this one guy on camera - who I was supposed to make out with and I'm not kidding - he's gay but still - I tried to French kiss him and he kept his mouth shut - super tight.  Then when it was over he was furiously whipping my lipstick off his face.  Um - can you imagine - HA - anything more mortifying than trying to French kiss someone and they are like - um - no bitch - I don't think so.  WOW.  I shot more of the web series today - behind the camera - that was a blast - hilarious.  So - so - I've been busy and I still haven't paid my rent for July.  When I was doing all of this years ago - I could never balance out - I mean - I wouldn't be writing on here right now - I would be getting high.  Oh why - why do I talk about that?  It makes me so sad.  I am just so happy I just can come home and get in my pj's and get ready for bed, do Yoga and go to sleep.  Isn't that so beautiful??  I can floss - amazing.  My friend made us a Filet Mignon salad after we were done filming today and then I went to a meeting back in the city and afterwards a man asked me (I mean there's a social area - I wasn't on the street or anything) if I wanted a piece of cheesecake and he gave me a slice of the most delicious homemade cheesecake with chocolate something on top of it - what??  COME ON!!  That's amazing.  I seriously wanted to cry - it was so nice.  I mean he was giving everyone cheesecake but I REALLY appreciated it.  Sigh - I miss my little girl dog.  She seems so gone now.  K I love you Bluebie bye.