Me, My Feelings and the Dog With Diarrhea.

I guess I have PMS.  I'm so tired.  I feel gross.  I got fat yesterday.  I got home tonight and once again the poor dog was sick everywhere.  Her bed, the floor - everywhere and it was really gross.  She could tell I was home and she strolled out of her bed and stretched and wagged her tail like all was fine.  I was starving and I cleaned everything up and if you don't think cleaning up diarrhea when are starving is the most confusing thing ever - it is - trust me.  I had taken back ALL the food I bought her - took one new can and guess what?  Makes her sick.  I gave her a bath and she looked so skinny and helpless and shivering and her bones were all crackily and I could not stop crying.  I was just crying and washing the dog.  Why does it have to be like this?  If you don't think that made me want to drink you are very wrong.  I really wanted some relief from realizing this dog is not fucking well and is seriously old.  She's okay now - I cleaned everything, washed the floors a million times - threw out her bed - which is new.  She has another bed it's okay but man - she loved that bed.  It was perfect for her.  So I'm done cleaning and what do I see.  Cockroach.  Since I had the mop out I caught it and I flushed it down the toilet apologizing the whole time.  What the fuck?  I then took care of myself.  I ate and did dishes and put on clean pajamas and washed my make-up off and flossed.  I put on old lady lotion on my face and brushed my teeth.  I think I need to meditate now.  I think I really do.  My shoulders are up by my ears and I'm so upset.  I put newspaper down everywhere and what am I supposed to do to make her feel better?  Poor thing.  She is acting like everything is fine except for the bath part which was horrifying.  Thank you for being here.  Bye Bluebers.