Saturday, February 29, 2020
Passively Aggressively Controlling Other People Is Exhausting
Hellooooooo. I am so so so, so so tired. I am taking such better care of myself so it's not like in the old days tired - or even before I knew I had cancer - that tired. Ooo - that tired was not good. Okay so this tired is because on some level I am still trying to figure other people out and somehow control other people's thoughts and feelings -mostly. Wait what? Yes -that's it. Alanon. It's that recovery. Who wants to hear about this stuff? Yeesh - it's really like eating raw broccoli. My father used to say yeesh. Ha! who actually says that? So funny. He would say it all sort of under his breath and it had such a weighty sarcasm to it. "Yeeesh." ANYWAY - well I just pooped so honestly I feel A LOT less tired. I mean I didn't poop while I was typing this - I got up and went into the bathroom. LIKE A LADY. I have to do a lot of driving tonight for a show but I am happy to do it. I have been busy doing stuff so I feel really grateful. On a VERY exciting note I discovered a cereal that is SO GOOD and healthy and it's everything I have ever wanted in a snack. I am so worried about this stupid corona virus that I ordered 4 bags of it to make sure I have enough food in case we can't leave the house. I was so embarrassed when the guy delivered it today because I realized that I was in a panic probably for no reason and who gets 4 BAGS of cereal who doesn't even have kids? Anyway I am freezing and I need to get ready for tonight. Drop those shoulders and breathe. Go slow. Drink water. Just calmly and slowly mover forward. Stay in yourself. Be kind. Do things as cleanly as possible. Be even more kind. How it possible that these things are so hard to do? It will get easier - it will. Love you Blubie!
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