Microwave Baked Potato

Years ago and I mean like 15 years ago my friend wrote a blog post about how she doesn't know how to do a lot of things but she knows how to sooth herself...make a baked potato in the microwave and I'm not sure what else but my mind was BLOWN by that concept.  Nobody taught me to self-soothe.  I think I was taught to beat myself up emotionally and stuff my feelings in whatever way possible.  Or maybe they just ignored me.  Or maybe they tried to talk to me and I was CRYING with everything in me because I was a little artist with a bagillion feelings and creative urges and no place to put them.  Or who knows.  Either way tonight I came home and I baked myself a potato, put ghee, pink Himalayan sea salt on it and fresh pepper and it was fucking delicious and SO SOOTHING. I was shocked by her blog post also because I was under the impression that POTATOES ARE BAD.  I have recently learned and I probably already wrote about this but I am going to say it again that potatoes are not bad - frying them and putting cheese all over them is bad for you.  TALK ABOUT SOOTHING THOUGH AM I RIGHT??  Ha.  FUCK.  Anyway ghee is just as fucking soothing.  Yikes.  I also made a little soup with arugula, garlic and micro broccoli greens & rice noodles.  YUM.  Anyway I am trying to soothe myself and recover from that crazy ass trip I went on.  I am struggling with feeling like I - you know I am not even going to give it any power.  I am struggling with soothing myself and letting myself heal.  But I got this.  I am reading a great book!  It's called "What You Think Of Me Is None Of My Business."  It's empowering and I love it.  I read a book while I was on my crazy trip called "Take Good Care of The Garden & The Dogs."  It was very sentimental and hard to read because EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER was about someone DYING and I honestly was like "IS THIS WOMAN OKAY!???"  But what was wonderful was she wrote about a man who stopped doing cancer treatment because he didn't see how it could cure him and instead he moved to Alaska to heal FROM THE LAND.  DID I WRITE ABOUT THIS ALREADY??  Fuck my chemo brain is in full action.  Anyway he is alive and well.  So I felt it was a sign to not take that fucking pill they want me to take.  I have to go to the doctor next week and I know they are going to try to convince me to do it but well - I do not want to still.  My daily walks and fresh foods plus meditation and healing are helping me.  What isn't helping is when I don't go to alanon and then I think I am the most wrong person that ever existed.  But guess what?  I went and I feel better and now I am SELF-SOOTHING.  I am fucking full from that soup.  Who says that?  Is it even a thing?  To be full from soup and a potato??  I GUESS SO.  Love you Bluebie bye!!