MRI

Went by myself yesterday to get my MRI that I had scheduled but them also needed because my mammogram showed something.  This week and the last 2 weeks have been CRAZY.  I got stuck in an airport on the way back from this job and it was nuts.  There was a state of emergency and they closed the airport.  No flights in or out and no one working in the airport.  It was fucking nuts.  We all had to stay together and you know what I am not even going to get into it.  I slept on a hard bench and I was SO PROUD of myself!  I was a fucking trooper.  Anyway I just got an email from the Dr. well I don't know - I got the report.  I don't think I was supposed to but I did and unless I am reading it incorrectly I am okay.  FUCK.  FUCKING FUUUUUUCK.  I just cried for 5 minutes.  My holistic doctor says I will have certainty....that I will be able to be certain I am okay and although I have done so much to be okay I still wasn't sure.  Plus they scared me at the mammogram.  Anyway thank God.  I am crying again.  I don't want to cut my boobs off and I don't want to take a pill that is going to make me sick.  I just don't okay?  I don't want to and it's okay that I don't want to.  Fuck I am really crying. God this has all been so intense.  Anyway I also thought I was going to get fired from my job because I went to this other country and then got trapped in an airport that was closed for a state of emergency and that was SO CRAZY.  Anyway they didn't fire me although I was late today and I felt like they were going to although the other night the mom said she wasn't going to she promised.  COULD I BE MORE STRESSED OUT!?  I guess so if I had my own kids.  I don't think I am making a lot of sense and now I have to wake up at 4:30 to bring my guy to get his own test done.  I am exhausted.  Who knew I could do any of this?  I did not know.  God please help me to continue to be strong, be grateful and grow.  Get out of my own way and trust.  Love you Bluebie bye.