DANCES WITH WOLVES

I thought that sounded funny so I wrote it.  Aren't you glad I didn't say banana??  What?  Ugh.  So it was absolutely fucking GORGEOUS out today.  I went to my ladies meeting and I talked with women and I came home, had weird sex with my guy - good sex!  But weird because I am still terrified to shake myself around very much.  I spoke to my therapist.  I have somewhat of a plan trying to get the idea of chemo through my head.  A second opinion.  I don't know.  A woman after the meeting today said to just do it.  Anyway I went and ran a couple of errands, got some groceries, went for a walk and cooked a bunch of food.  I just wanted to enjoy this gorgeous day.  the chemo would be for 5 months.  Holy fucking shit.  What am I going to do for 5 months???  I don't know.  Okay the guy is doing the dishes from all the food I made and it's so loud.  I feel better today, less depressed.  Ugh I can't this is so annoying to me.  HOW CAN I BE ANNOYED AT HIM DOING DISHES???  I just can be that's all.  That's fucking all.  They are my feelings and I'm allowed to have them.  I'm more healed now also.  Not done AT ALL but I am better.  Ugh it's so crazy.  This is so fucking crazy.  I have to go he's driving me fucking nuts.  Byeeeeeee