Day 1881.

I have this day counting app on my phone and it says "You have been in recovery for 1,881 Days."  So that's how I know.  How many days I have.  That's a lot of days but also - not so many.  I'm so happy I'm sober.  I just got back from class.  I had an amazing set onstage last night - I killed - I had fun - it was so great.  I did not kill in class tonight - at all.  Ha - this monologue I'm working on is a of a dancer and tonight - I danced and I was having trouble to say the least - breathing.  My teacher said (ha) "Well I'm sorry you're so out of breath."  HA - aaaaand WHOMP.  Jesus - he's fucking 92 and he called me out for being out of shape.  But it's true.  Anyway - so I love the class but it's certainly not happening quickly.  I am just going along slowly with everything.  Lots of work in the programs - lots of meetings - I met with 2 of my sponsees the last 2 days so I am being of service.  I have no money - that credit card is just fattening right the fuck up.  I need to put myself on some sort of crazy, miniscule budget.  I mean - I could do that.  I SHOULD DO THAT.  What do I mean "I could?"  What the fuck is that - am I threatening to get my shit together?  Jesus.  My guy is about to move into his new apartment - I helped him pick out a couch and lamps for the new place - that was fun.  I don't know OMG THERE IS A MOUSE IN MY FRYING PAN RIGHT NOW.  I just made this delicious fried dessert and APPARENTLY HE WANTS SOME.  I am so fucking grossed out and at the same time so lonely for a pet that I hope he LOVES IT.  My life is so ridiculous sometimes.  I need to go to bed - love you Bluebie byeee.