Love.

I was being a turd today when I was waitressing brunch because waitressing brunch sucks and then this cute guy came in and smiled at me so I started to act like I wasn't a turd anymore.  Only I was still being a turd (I forgot he was there and came around the corner swearing about some douche bag) and at one point I was like "Wait a fucking minute - he's cute but I'm still annoyed - a lot of these people are annoying and if this fucking guy doesn't love me when I'm being a turd about people who are crying about eggs well then HE WON'T LOVE ME ANYWAY SO FUCK HIM!"  Right?  Wow - there's some freedom there right?  I'm so tired - I just made stew and it's starting to simmer and smell like stew - yum.  So - yeah - I went to my meeting tonight and I'm just going to keep going to meetings.  Is it  fucked up for me to go to that lesbian meeting even though I'm not a lesbian?  I don't know why - I've gone to tons of gay men's meetings - so who cares?  Um - what I need to go to sleep right now I love you Bluebie bye.