Misery.

So grumpy - I feel so gross.  I have an audition tomorrow - one I set up myself and now I wonder if I shouldn't have done that.  I worked with my teacher - did I write about this already?  I'm losing my mind.  I feel gross - so bloated and gross and ALONE.  FAT AND ALONE.  UGH.  I did just drink a lot of water - THAT SHOULD CHANGE EVERYTHING.  Well - oh well - I guess dreary, dark, miserable, fat days happen.  Okaaaay - so I need a meeting.  I just can't stand how it smells anywhere.  I think I'm going to move to California with one of my sisters.  I'm so bored and I can't stand how this city smells anymore and nothing is happening here for me.  I mean I guess I have to accept I'm not going to get to have children - okay - fine - I need to stop writing - I'm seriously - a wreck right now.  Bye Bluebie - I love you.