Oh GOD - ugh.

I'm so stressed out and exhausted.  Okay - but I'm sort of taking care of myself.  Right?  What?  I mean I waited until I got paid, paid all my bills and THEN went Christmas shopping.  Working 6 days a week is hard and I can't afford to not do that.  I'm fighting off a cold.  It's so, so , sooooo much better that I am not at the comedy club but I made more money there or - well when it was good - I made more money there.  Okay - I went to a meeting last night and I got Christmas presents.  I went home and ate my mediocre stew and I went to bed early.  I still couldn't wake up but I got to work only 10 minutes late - unshowered.  2 steps forward, one day not showered, back.  Whatever.  Okay I was on call tomorrow but Larni is going to cover it so I will have one day off which is all I need to get myself together.  I will get a haircut, sleep late and be able to take care of myself and the rest of the Christmas presents.  This is going to be hard not going home for Christmas at all.  Oh - I'm lonely and I forgot my phone at home.  I'm just out of it.  I had such a nice visit with my friend - oh my GOD!!  Talk about miracles!!  I was able to make us dinner and then I left her in my apartment so she could sleep while I went and hosted an 11:00 show - an 11:00 p.m. show and I wasn't even nervous about leaving her in my apartment!!!!  Talk about a miracle.  The show was so much fun - I was a way better host this time.  Then the next morning we had coffee and I left for work and left her in the apartment again so she could take her time getting ready.  I just was always so uncomfortable leaving anyone around my things before.  Or just embarrassed I guess also.  Anyway - it was such a joy to have her in my place - she is such a dear, sweet, funny friend.  I feel so gross right now - I need to get some fresh air.  After this woman leaves I'm going to run to the bank - get some air and sun.  Water also - I am dehydrated which always makes me feel like I am on drugs.  Ugh - okay - bye Bluebie I love you.