Hi it's Tuesday.

Oh my God I just remembered I forgot my wedding anniversary.  Wow - that's amazing - really fucking fantastic actually.  Okay - so I'm really uncomfortable.  I worked all weekend - long brunch shifts - plus a double Saturday.  I went to a show for Larni last night and bought a book that another comedian wrote.  I think after I write on her I need to write in my journal.  My scene partner for class just came to see me here and rehearse her - that was so nice.  It's been warm the last few days but today it's cold again.  So I don't know - I have really one more shift at the comedy club and I don't want to do it but I will I guess.  I'm so over it - it was so awful Saturday night.  I could definitely use the money of one more shift.  Anyway.  Um - I'm just uncomfortable physically and emotionally.  I think I might have to work on Christmas.  My mother is going to freak out - maybe.  I went to the show last night with some of the other people from my new job and this one kid - he's a kid - he's such a gentleman - okay - whatever - I'm lonely - that's my point - haha.  Oh boy - last week it was my acting teacher - who today at this moment - I think he's such a turd.  I think he's a great acting teacher but he's turd.  I just haven't met the guy yet - that's it.  IT'S THAT MICHAEL BUBLE SONG HELLO.  I keep not doing yoga before bed or really any of my nighttime routine.  I'm so fucking exhausted.  It take s a total of like 20 to 30 minutes.  It's so good for me.  I want to dance.  Do I?  Wouldn't I be doing it if I wanted to be?  I want to dance I just don't want to see myself in the mirror.  What am I??  A fucking pussy???  Am I?  AM I???????  Fuck.  Ugh - frustration.  Well anyway - I think I'm embarrassed about how I might have been acting towards that guy from work.  Really I'm just afraid someone could tell I have feelings for him or could see I'm attracted to him but SO FUCKING WHAT?  He's hot and NICE - there was this black girl there who was like "You get a little older and I'm gonna tear that shit up - alright?"  I just think I smell bad.  Haha - and she kept farting or SOMEONE did - for once it wasn't me - Jesus.  I keep using this shampoo and the white spots aren't going away from my skin.  I'm all over the place.  Larni also said I need to trim the fat from my jokes and he's so RIGHT - I just don't know if I can.  I don't know what I can do.  Well - okay - bye.  Love Youbie.