Ugh - well they can't all be winners.

That filming was so hard today - ugh.  Isn't that terrible?  I just - I don't now - I didn't love it.  It was so awkward too - I felt uncomfortable and 2 of the actors were all about themselves - so funny.  No one ever said I did a good job.  Ugh.  Then - there was a woman there with so much plastic surgery - it was - I just kept asking her questions - I just didn't get it.  I get it.  Then everyone had a party afterwards and I just wanted to leave but I couldn't because we were in fucking Staten Island.  Her house is beautiful - she is WONDERFUL - she made us a beautiful dinner but - ugh.  I don't drink anymore, I don't smoke cigarettes and I couldn't go to a meeting because we got back too late.  I don't know - tomorrow is a new day.  I came home, ate ice cream, washed my shirt for tomorrow and took a bath.  I'm going to brush my teeth and go to - holy fuck - so someone just rang my door and I literally screamed.  I'm so stressed out and tired.  It was my downstairs neighbor saying "Too much water in the bath - too much water in the bath!!"  Seriously - I didn't know what the fuck he was saying and once I realized I said "I'm not taking a bath."  And he said - "Okay - tomorrow Super" - and started to walk away.  I went and looked in the tub and I think it is leaking from the faucets but it's - I don't know - I don't fucking get it - there's no water in the tub and it's fucking almost midnight - what if I was sleeping??  He scared the shit out of me - Jesus Christ.  As he was walking down the stairs he said "Sorry."  Ha - oh great - no problem.  I feel great now - knowing that you are so mad to come up her and yell at me even though you think I'm in the tub.  I have to go to sleep - I just am over this day.  Bye Bluebie - not over you.  I think I'm a little depressed - I'm going in the wrong direction somehow - this is all too hard somehow.  Maybe not - I don't know.