He's just no that into you - or rather - me.

I'm reading that book - which is so embarrassing to read on the train but who gives a fuuuuck.  First of all I'm inspired because it's so fucking short - it wasn't cheap and it was a bestseller - so WOW on that.  Then also - DUH - he's not that into me.  That's what it has always been - ever since I broke up with my first boyfriend - dated that guy in college for years and then after that - it was just a disaster - they were either guys I wasn't into or they were just not into me and I settled - I totally settled.  And now it all makes so much sense with this last guy - he just wasn't that into me.  I just couldn't admit it to myself or maybe I just didn't know it.  It's like getting sober - I just couldn't hear all those other years how simple the solution was.  Now this last guy who I have liked and I haven't heard from??  WHO CARES??  He's not into me - LORD KNOWS WHY but WHO CARES?  He's NEVER going to treat me the way I want and deserve to be treated!  How much of a relief is that??  Seriously - it's so simple - it's so fucking simple.  So - so that's where I am - it's confusing why this guy seemed to like me but now doesn't but realizing honestly and truly that he's not has made it so much easier to move on.  And it also means that I don't have to wait around waiting to see if he's going to come around.  If he doesn't - fairly quickly - I know he's not into it - and I can move on.  GLORY!!!  Glory glory glory!!!  Isn't that so wonderful??  Okay my anniversary is in 35 minutes.  Holy shit.  I made myself dinner - carrot and ginger soup with chunks of garlic and tofu sautéed in garlic and 4 pepper BBQ sauce - YUM.  Then I had 2 different kinds of ice cream.  I hosted an open mike tonight and I went to a meeting and I bought a new clothes drying rack.  Isn't that fun?  Well it's fun to me.  I need to calm down - I am not calm.  Okaaaay - whoa.  I also cleaned the bathroom and watched Breaking Bad which is THE BEST SHOW EVER.  Holy fucknuts.  okay 30 minutes to go.  Good night my Bluebie - where was I this time last year let's look.