I feel so sick to my stomach.

I feel like I'm doing something wrong and I really am questioning this whole sobriety thing.  I mean - I am miserable - this is insane.  I put myself to bed early last night after I cleaned and grocery shopped and I had the worst dreams and now I feel so upset.  I'm not sure what is going one - maybe I am just going through something.  It was so scary to put myself to sleep.  I think maybe I am addicted to the drama of not sleeping enough.  I was able to wake up, walk the dog and get ready in a clean bathroom and somehow that was just TORTURE.  I don't understand at all what is going on.  I'm just hoping this is another layer of - crap.  I mean whenever people tell me they are going crazy in early sobriety I really believe they are getting sober.  I'm just not having any fun - I'm just tired and over it.  Okay - well - I wish I could say this is PMS but it's not.  I just am having a crap day and someday I will feel pretty and sexy again and have fun.  I'm so fucking bored and I'm just mad.  FUCK.  I am so grateful for my family and I know people have it so much worse but I don't feel alive.  This just can not be where the buck stops.