Confused. Or am I?

Lord have fucking mercy.  I woke up with a pit in my stomach and on my way to work I got into reading "Emotional Sobriety."  It's very clinical (for me) and fuck - why am I saying that like that?  I just don't feel very well psychologically.  I'm upset.  I managed to make myself dinner last night, do dishes and pack myself a lunch today.  I was able to wake up and pray & meditate and ge to work on time.  I just feel sick to my stomach and I feel like I kind of don't exist.  That's all.  Ha -  why am I saying ha - I don't mean ha - I mean - big sigh.  I don't even know if I mean that.  I have to keep reading this book and right now I am going to look up the limbic system and the cortex.  I can't believe I'm going to say this but thank GOD for this job.  I needed to get out of myself today.  I love you Bluebie.