Back to what am I doing?

I could not sleep last night because I was so freaked out about where I am.  I used to go on auditions and send out photos and now I am totally a waitress and I work at a boutique.  A 14 year old could do these jobs and a 14 year old somewhere is probably leading the creative life I want to lead.  Which is what?  I DON'T know!!  I'm so tired and I can't seem to finish moving into that apartment.  I need to clean, put away my books, clean, put back up the blinds which are in to close to the room.  I bought curtains which I can't put in because the blinds aren't in right.  Ugh.  Who cares?  Okay - I'm going to stop writing.  I took tonight off of work - I just can't do it.  I need to get something for my cousin's baby for her party on Saturday.  Alright - I have food, a new vacuum - life is okay - I'm just exhausted and scattered and being hard on myself .  Not so helpful  Bye Bluebs - I love you.