I got it!!

I am more comfortable living in a crazy place, in a crazy way - where I am upset and can't be an artist. I was imprinted with that and that is what is COMFORTABLE for me. Actually going out and finding a place to live, pay the bills - be a fucking grown-up is so uncomfortable for me that I don't do it. Holy fuck. So it's the 2 things - repetition compulsion and the fact that I am actually comfortable living the way I am. That is what Wolfgang always fucking says. "You like it!!! You love living in a gay bath house!!! You're into it!!!!" He sounds like the dad from Family Guy. He even does the same hand gestures. Jesus - I don't know if I can handle this. I have to go. I need some juice and a water.