Deep & Light?

I just read a post from this blog from 2010 - December.  So I had a just a little over a year sober.  I was trying to figure out a catch phrase for this blog.  At the end I joked about having it be "keeping it deep & light."  Which ironically today - is exactly what I want to do.  I want to keep it deep but also - light!  Lighten up!  Life is too short and I have had it with the suffering.  We get sober to be happy, joyous and free and that is what I am aiming for now.  So.  So now I am sitting here with all my feelings, all my stuff - both physical and emotional...and I have the time to clean everything out.  It feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity.  I have peeled back so many layers of my "onion" but now - now I can peel back and clean up more.  and file!  I can file my layers.  Who new I liked to file!?  I like order!  I do!  It might now look like other people's order but it's order.  I am a structured person.  I think the most interesting thing about this blog is that I basically - never told anyone about it.  A few people?  It is as real an account of my sobriety and recovery as I could possibly express.  I feel like maybe back then there was a touch more kindness in me.  I feel I have - OH MY GOD WHATEVER.  I have been naïve in my life - oh well.  Ha!  I am a wonderful person and I have worked so very hard to be kind and I will continue to do that - hopefully.  After I left that thing I left yesterday my sponsor said to me "Well that must have been very hard for you - knowing how you are."  And I laughed because it made me feel like - I don't know - like a person with a "nervous condition" who can't stick up for themselves.  Which to be honest I kind of am that.  SO THAT'S FUN.  Anyway.  Now I have another big thing to take care of....big for me.....UGH I DON'T WANT TO.  Okay well I don't have to today.  I'm not exactly sure what I am saying anyway.  Okay I am going to lay down for a minute - love you Bluebie bye.