A moment.......

to reflect.  It's my anniversary - I am sober 9 years today.  9 fucking years.  It has been something I will tell you what.  I don't do it very often but sometimes I go back and read things I wrote and realize how crazy I was - how unhappy and frightened - AND - I was sober already!  It takes so long to unwind ourselves from this disease and unhealthy patterns of behavior.  Word.  So anyway I am home and I have stuff to do today - clean up my office, make my schedule for the week and do some work for my sister.  We got up and prayed & meditated together then went for a walk in the neighborhood.  I love looking at all the flowers and he loves looking at the houses.  I came home and made a smoothie from this cookbook my sister gave me called Eat Pretty - so many great, yummy and healthy recipes.  So this smoothie is called LEmon Beauty smoothie and has spinach, parsley, dandelion greens, half an avocado, one whole peeled lemon and a frozen banana.  I made it - made the guy try some and he DID NOT WANT TO and then guess what happened?  I thought it was fucking disgusting and he loved it.  I mostly thought it was gross because of the consistency which I realized was like that because once again I DIDNT READ THE WHOLE RECIPE - hahahaaa.  Oye.  So it was like a glass of liquid with chunks of emon rind and for some reason chunks of parsley.  So everything else was liquid - I drank and and chewed it and honestly it made me feel fantastic but those chunks were hard to work through.  I am so impatient with recipes!  I just look at all the ingredints and then I go for it!  Not how it works.  Ha!  That being said I made salmon cakes last night and finally realized you'r supposed to not only use a wopden spoon to stir the ingredients together (which made a huge difference) but also not use wax paper.  I thought wax paper and parchment paper were the same thing but NOPE.  So I kept making these things and having them STICK to the wax paper!  Plus we were eating wax.  Whoops.  Anyway last night I used the wooden spoon and no wax paper and omg YUM,  So fucking good!!  Now for a different message besides read all the instructions...

I went to a naturopathic oncologist on Saturday.  He ran some body scan on me and then gave me a protocol of supplements and other things to do.  He said my thyroid was low and other stuff.  He also said I didn't need to do chemo or radiation - that he could have helped me but that surgery was good.  I was like - um - well I did it sooooo - thank you??  Anyway I really liked him and I am doing the protocol already.  Well most of it - it's a ton of shit so I'm working it in slowly.  He wanted me to drink some weird shit that I was like naaaah to and he was just like "Okay."  Ha - no problem - which I liked.  I couldn't really tell what it was made out of and anyway - I'm not great with powders.  I went home and looked it up and I still couldn't tell what it was.  So.  So this is for prevention.  Cancer prevention.  I don't want to take the pills they want to give me at the hospital because I can't be so physically - off.  But it doesnt' feel right to do nothing so I am doing this.  His protocol, diet and exercise.  He said diet is 80% of healing.  He didn't say but I'm guessing he meant 80% healthy right?  Ha.  PIZZA AND DOGNUTS.  Is that how you spell doughnuts?  What are dognuts that spell check didn't pick it up.  It's almost 1 now - I need to get going on my tasks for the day.. Thank you for being here sweet blog - this has helped my healing so much - love you Bluebie bye.