One year since she's gone.

I can't help but write it.  Yesterday was the one year anniversary - I sort of remembered and sort of forgot.  I wrote a joke - tried to write a joke about it.  I got on stage and said "Oh my God you guys - it's almost the anniversary of my dog's death!!  One year you guys!!  Yay!!!!"  So guess how well that worked??  Not so great but they didn't laugh at much anyway for anyone.  Probably because I was hosting and opened with that.  TOO FUCKING BAD.  Oh well - so - ugh - so sad but - well - she's right there on my parents farm and I loved her right until the last possible second I could.  I'm going for a walk in the park and I'm going to an alanon meeting and going to see the guy.  My guy.  How crazy that I'm such a program person.  I'm in PROGRAMS.  How did that happen?  Who cares - I'm so lucky that I am.  When did that happen?  To realize how lucky I am?  I don't know.  I have to go for a walk and get some fresh air.  Love you Bluebie bye.