Hi.

I'm so tired - still working - still liking this guy - so much.  He wanted to see me again right away - tonight, last night, tomorrow night - awww and haa but I can't.  I have to take care of myself and - ugh - take care of myself.  What's harder than that?  All I want to do is talk to him and hang out with him - and if I just do that and lose myself - I will be so angry.  You know - more than angry - I will just be upset.  I want better for me and I wouldn't want him to do that with me.  So I just have to trust that me taking care of myself will make everything even better - that's all there is to it.  That's so tricky right?  I suppose this is where strength comes in.  I'm so amazed at him.  He's just such a great egg - and funny and fun and NICE.  JESUS CHRIST WHO AM I????  Hahahaaaahaha - whoa.  I need to go to sleep.  Oh I hate that little turd from my class again - I had the worst class on Friday night - maybe the worst in a year and a half.  So fucking annoying.  I have to figure this shit out - or at least I want to.  What?  I just got so tired.  I love you my sweet Blueberry Blog - I hope I haven't been ignoring you.