More sadness.

My acting teacher asked me stay after class tonight and I thought he was going to tell me he wants me to work now with his teacher.  But no - instead he told me that a guy we both used to work with a the same comedy club - drank 2 bottles of bleach.  He's an alcoholic and he has been for yeaaaars this guy.  Oh he used to just get so wasted every night and say the meanest shit to people - right to their face but behind their back - unreal.  Un- FUCKING real this guy but also - what a talent.  Okay so of course I lost it - I guess he's at the hospital right now - which relieved me until I realized - how the fuck can one live after drinking one bottle of bleach?  Half a bottle of bleach??  A fucking cup of bleach?  I hope it's a lie - or a partial lie or I don't know.  I guess he broke his foot and has been home - probably just drinking just drinking alone - not working for weeks now.  I'm so upset - I'm so broken hearted for this guy - I was so where he was and years ago I knew he had a problem.  I mean - I did too.  I did - I do.  I am exhausted - I worked today - I got my period, went to therapy, went to class - cried with my teacher.  He didn't cry - I cried - that man has seen me cry - I will tell you that.  Good thing I wasn't thinking he was going to confess his undying love to me.  I have a date tomorrow night - a blind date.  Someone from the program hooked us up.  I guess we will see how this goes.  We are going to have dinner.  Well - um - I don't know - I mean - whatever - right?  I need to go to sleep.  You are my sweetest blog.  Love you Bluebie bye.