Hi.

I am up to go to work but now I am waiting to hear from her because she might not want to open the store - it's already totally awful outside.  So I'm making a second cup of coffee and - well - writing on here.  The man called me last night to go out again this weekend - so that is fun.  I was asking my friend what she thought about him - I have called her Lady Paeon - I think???  Lord I can't remember - anyway - she is like a lovely bird so - but so she said DON'T OVERTHINK IT!!!  Which is exactly what I was doing at that moment and last night - no this morning - I realized because it's so uncomfortable to sit in not knowing someone and getting to know them and letting myself be uncomfortable and unsure.  Isn't that uncomfortable and vulnerable?  Holy shit - so scary.  So - yeah - I got nothing done last night - I did the dishes and I had a bunch of tea and took my vitamins and flossed.  Ha!!!  Oh my God - if you even told me I that I would have been SO delighted that those activities were things I did - out of pleasure and love for myself, 10 years ago I would have  -I don't know - part of me would have been happy probably but I never would have believed I could do it.  Aw - that's so sad!  Holy fuck I need to help someone - get out of my fucking head.  I went to that meeting last night and met a newcomer and got her number.  I felt like I was having an out of body experience when I was talking to her because I couldn't believe I was reaching out to someone to help someone or that I even stayed for the whole meeting.  It was a little unnerving of a meeting - there was a man talking to himself (who of course I thought was so hot until I noticed his animated self convo) and a woman sitting next to me kept drinking coffee and swallowing SO loudly that I could not help but turn and stare at her over and over again.  How can someone swallow THAT loudly??  It was so fucking weird.  Then this crotch oriented man was there - I've seen him before - he sits with his legs wiiiiide open but with his back really straight and the whole time he talks he has his hands on his crotch but on the chair - so it's really confusing and - crotch oriented.  Anyway I left there feeling SO MUCH BETTER!!!  Okay I have to go - I have so much to do today if I'm not going to work.  Looooove you Bluebie bye.