Bummer.

My friend got me an amazing audition - big casting director - awesome, awesome gig.  I did my best but I was not on my game yesterday - I was tired and hung-over emotionally from the show I had Wednesday and stressing out about it.  I was nervous and I haven't been to a lot of auditions - and even though I have been performing a shit ton it's a completely different muscle.  So.  So there you go.  Oh wait I didn't say what my point was.  I didn't do great.  I made them laugh but it threw me off.  Ha!  I did the job then got thrown off.  Anyway so I left feeling like eh that sucked - I blew it.  Then I sort of thought maybe I had a chance still but then I never heard anything today and it's a holiday weekend and if they wanted me for a callback I think they would have asked for me.  So that sucks.  I took care of myself and I am taking care of myself.  I'm getting new picture tomorrow and then we have a couple days off and that's glorious.  I'm so sad about this but this is how this business goes and it's okay - it's just uncomfortable.  I can be uncomfortable.  I really can.  I was hoping if I wrote about it I could move past it.  Here's the great news - I got that audition and they liked my stuff.  So that is fucking awesome.  Here's the other thing....I wasn't hung over or a mess.  Also who the fuck knows - maybe I was awesome and they didn't like my hair or my shoes.  Who knows.  I just want to enjoy my weekend and my life.  I have had a wonderful week and I am really feeling better.  It's so nice outside right now - it's beautiful Spring weather so it's all good.  I really need to make money so I was so so hoping this would get that started but I guess it's not yet.  So I am just letting go and turning it over to God.  It's so hard to do.  I just want right now to be working.  I am I'm just not getting paid.  So.  So I'm not sure what the lesson is but I know to just let go.  I have to get in the shower!!  I have had this hair color in my hair for so long!!!!  Love you Bluebie bye.