It's freezing! I mean it' really cold. Luckily because the chemo made me go instantly into menopause - I run much warmer now and so I am not as sensitive to the cold. Life is strange. So I still have a lot going on and I am trying to calm down so I thought I would write on here real quick.
I have a big show this week and I am excited and nervous. So I am working on that and I need/want to work on that right now but as I said above I am trying to calm down because I am getting over-stimulated. We had a lovely weekend - so so nice - even though my Mom got drunk and that was upsetting...BUT - you have never seen a more lady-like drunk. ANYWAY. I already spoke to my alanon sponsor this morning and I really need to stay focused right now so I am not going to get into it. Oooo - I just got hungry. Anyway.....I am okay. Right now today. Yesterday I went for a jog with my guy and then he kept jogging while I walked back to the house and I was thinking about healing. Thinking about how intelligent our bodies are and how they want to heal. I thought about giving my body healing messages and loving thoughts so it can do it's job of healing. My hair is changing - from super tight curls to the top of it straightening out again - which is how my hair was before. There is something called Chemo Curls that happens - where your hair grows back in curly and mine certainly did. But it's changing - which means the chemo is leaving my body and even though that is wonderful it is also scary because then my body is on it's own. But I want to and am going to, trust my body that it can take care of itself. Especially if I give it loving thoughts, restful sleep and healthy food and supplements. And breathe. I am going to breathe and enjoy my life and love and take care of myself. And for some reason writing helps me to do that. I just wrote in my journal before this and before I started to write I was spinning and getting really over-stimulated and just uncomfortable and crazy. Now after writing on here and in my journal I feel so much better. Much more calm and in my body. Not quite centered but much more present. Okay deep breath - I got this. What a challenge. What an unbelievable challenge I have been given. To live. My challenge is to live, live well and be well. I am so tired and it's 10:42 am. Ha! Okay love you Bluebie bye.
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