Writing.....

We did our podcast the other night and the comedian we interviewed considers herself mainly a writer.  she said she writes everyday and HAS to or she's crazy.  So I today have sat down to write for me show tonight and I have written - NOTHING.  I can't fucking do it.  It's excruciating.  I'm so - UGH - stuck about it.  And just now as I sat down to at least write on here - which isn't excruciating or AS excruciating - I remembered how much I used to LOVE to write.  I loved it and I didn't feel good unless I got to do it.  So what happened???  Is it the drinking?  Did it break my writers bone?  Maybe it's the fact that I wait so long in between writing.  Like exercise - I have to start all over again.  Im going to try to write everyday.  As I was typing that I was thinking "NO IM NOT."  Ha!  Christ.  I should though and see if it helps.  I really do love to write but this like game of chicken with it fucking stinks.  Wow the more nervous I get the more I swear.  Hmmmmm.....so I am hosting this show tonight and I am so nervous.  There are amazing comics on the show and one of them is a woman who has been around forever and is amazing.  Totally intimidating.  That's okay it's a challenge - one I just need to be prepared for that's all.  I have a doctors appointment tomorrow with the Snake Doctor.  Oh man I can't wait.  I just love that doctor.  Okay I have to go and get ready for this.  Or lay down.  Oh my God I am so sleepy all of a sudden.  Okay I am going to rally and stay upright and force myself to do this writing and I am going to fucking write everyday.  Maybe.  Love you Bluebie byeeee.