I need french fries and other lies I tel myself.

I am at the moment obsessing over French fries.  It feels like the only thing I need in my life is French fries and I am fairly convinced that this is true.  That's it.  There must be something chemically happening to me right now that only French fries can help.  Why does it keep capitalizing French - it's so fucking annoying.  Alright well and something else I'm telling myself that isn't true - you know what - no - no I am not writing it down.  I'm not putting it out to the Universe - fuck that.  I really don't feel great still and I am having a lot of negative thoughts.  My stomach is bothering me.  I called that sponsee and she never called me back.  I called her again today and said we really need to talk and nothing.  Yeesh.  Well it's okay.  It doesn't FEEL okay but I really do think it will be okay.  I am triggered.  I had that weird show this week - did I write about it already?  I just feel tortured that's all - and I'm not having any fun.  OMG!!  SEE?  I'm just fucking negative.  I'm tired and it's okay.  The guy helped someone move today and I went to my ladies meeting and then went to breakfast with them.  It was so nice.  I'm going to lay down.  Lay down and wish I was a different person.  Just on the inside.  Just where it really counts.  No - I don't wish I was a different person - right?  Is this the part where I take a nap and wake up a different person?  Well if I do I hope they fart less that's all I have to say.  GROSS.  Hahahahahaaaa - Im not really laughing.  French fries.  Cheese fries.  Bacon.  Cellulite.  YES.  I WANT ALL OF THAT.  Bye.