Can't keep up

I can't keep up. This job is kicking my ass. I'm out of shape and I'm so fucking tired. I'm a mess. I think I'm really - what? About to give up. I do not see how anything is going to come of me. I mean acting wise. I'm so confused. Now all I am doing is working and going to class. And now the class is different - this one. Ugh. So depressing. Well - it's 5:00 in the morning. And I'm up to waitress. I feel sick that this is my life. And all the time I'm having drinking dreams. Ugh. Whatever. Oh well - I've tried. Now I've tried everything. I guess it's not meant to be for me - thats all. And maybe it never was. Maybe that's really just it. I just don't ever want to drink again. Today. I don't have to today right? That's right - just not today.