"God Doing For Me What I Can't Do For Myself"

This is a saying in AA.  It means - ugh - I don't know what it means - something along the lines of - I won't do shit until it's way too late and eventually I will get pushed into, out of of or around it.  Which is off course today/yesterday exactly what has happened.  There is a big red FOR RENT sign on the door of the store I work at now.  Why?  Because she's closing - which I did not know or didn't know was going to be SO soon.  When do you ask?  September.  It's halfway through JULY.  Who told me?  The guy who PUT THE SIGN ON THE DOOR.  Guess how long I have wanted a different job?  The entire time I have worked here practically.  I mean and even if it has been the whole 4 years it has at least been 2 years.  A year?  I don't know!  It's so much better than waitressing but I can't even fully support myself here.  So see?  I'm being literally shoved out.  GET OUT!  GO!  Ugh.  I mean - anyway - jeez it's so awkward people coming in here with the sign!  They keep saying - "OH!  I'm so sorry you are going out of business!"  Which I don't even know what the fuck is happening - she just told me - literally - "That she doesn't know what is happening but the lease is up in September."  UM THANK YOU.  Ugh.  It feels rude.  Okay - it is rude - to not tell people who work for you that they might not have a job in a month in a half is rude. But - well - hello.  Anyway - that's where I am.  It's just like the comedy club - until I was making an eighth of what I was once was making I could not leave.  Or I CHOSE not to leave.  Fucking barf and whatever.  Haha.  WOW.  FOR RENT.  He was so creepy when he put the sign up and kept saying in a really soft, passive aggressive creepy way "Do you think people will see the sign?  I don't want people to miss it - do you think they can see it?"  It's a huge fucking FOR RENT sign in RED.  Yes - they see it.  Why do I care?  Because I'm an alcoholic and I don't ever want anything to change - even a situation I'm not happy with.  Ha!  Love you Bluebie bye.