Loneliness.

Okay so last night was a bust although it was fun.  I'm going to send this guy something I already have.  I'm trying to upload it and its taking FOREVER.  Okay whatever.  My biggest realization right now is this.......I have been avoiding my friend that makes me crazy.  Right?  So none of the crazy questions form her - or the bizarre self-centered all about herness - even when I've said something that is going on with me.  Here's the ticker - I'm pretty sure at this point she is actually blowing ME off AND I'm lonely!  I can't believe how much time I spent having and unhealthy relationship with her!  Not only that but it must have given me something to press against - ugh - now I'm left with myself.  Gross.  It's like when I left the bed and breakfast.  Turns out I have big part in my - life.  HA.  Gross.  Now I want to eat a turkey.  But I'm not going to.  Ugh and sigh.  Okay I have to do some work here and I'm completely avoiding it.  I'm going to drink some water and do some work.  Love you Bluebie bye.