So confused.

I'm not feeling great - my body is all fucked up - it smells like something died in my ass - I mean it's so gross- I'm very stressed out.  Haha - oh GOD - what do I write these things for?  I just don't understand how I can turn into SUCH a psycho when I get my period?  Okay - well - you know - I guess it's just what happens and I'm human and I am doing the best I can.  I really am.  I need to keep focused on myself, my self-care and working these programs and taking care of my art.  Slowly - a little bit everyday.  Focus on love - that's it.  Oh - it's so scary and I am so sick of being afraid.  Oh well - and you know - I'm still so happy to be sober - even f feeling all of this is so - RAW.  It just leaves me RAW.  But it's okay - oh boy.  Alright - well - it's okay.  Love you Bluebie bye.