Oh dear.

What a terrible weekend.  I worked for so long and made no money and to top it off - oh my God this is so ridiculous....I was so upset last night - I had no tables and that door guy just seemed to sit everyone else - and then he was fucking SLEEPING - full on - SLEEEPING in the balcony during the last show - sleeping so much that his finger was twitching and I had to have the other door guy wake him up.  I t made me so mad - he's SLEEPING in front of customers and also - thye are the bouncers and if some shit went down - he was SLEEPING.  So I said something to him at the end of the night - 2:30 in the morning and he says to me - "Eeryone here hates you tonight and for a good reason."  I got filled with so much poisoness rage and also got my feelings so hurt and I left - after I tattled on him to the manager - I'm sick of it - he fucks with my money - why should he be able to sleep?  What am I doing?  I cried the whole way home - I'm so suicidal and I really just want to drink.  I feel so sick - I haven't really slept - why am I here?  I work this job so I can be an actress - I'm not an actress and I don't make enough money to live.  It's so awful.  Oh my God -w here is the positive in this?  I posted something on Facebook - why did I do that?  I also ate more horrible food this week than in God knows  how long - I'm so toxic right now.  I should lay down again - I feel so sick.  I can't go back to these jobs - I just can't.  I just can't do any of this anymore.  What's the point?  I really don't know.