Cookbooks.

I have been going to the library for well over a year now - I think - maybe even longer?  Oh I think it's been longer....well anyway I went yesterday and got out a bunch of cookbooks.  Do you know you can take out FIFTY items from the library at a time?  Wow.  fun!  Anyway I am reading and learning more about cooking.  This book I am just finishing "A Homemade Life" by Molly Wizenberg (sp?) was really wonderful - I enjoyed it so much and for all of my cooking I learned a lot!  I mean A LOT.  So it inspired me to go learn more about cooking.  I am of course still trying to avoid all of the delicious dairy, gluten and sugar that I love so much but well I can cook without them.  Yes I can.  So anyway wow I just got sad.  Ha!  It's sad to not eat those foods but you know what's sadder?  Cancer and cancer treatment.  For me anyway.  Also and I honestly mean this - there are so many ways to cook things now - delicious, wonderful ways to cook pastries and tons of foods - so it's great.  All good.  I am not missing out.  Also I don't drink and smoke and that is totally fine.  I'm fine without them.  Great in fact.  My life is one million times better without them. 

It's Saturday and I am so tired.  I have continued to jog and joined a program this week called the Live Strong program - did I write about this already?  I think it was started by omg what is his name?  The cyclist that dated whatever the fuck her name was?  There we go - that's some good chemo brain in action.

It's literally 3 hours later - I got completely distracted.  The guy came home and then I had work to do.  The cyclist is I STILL CANT remember but he was with Cheryl Crow.  OKAY.  Anyway I go to a program that he started and now I am exhausted.  I need to go chill out and get ready for my super long run tomorrow.  Do you know I have jogged more than I have in YEARS and I gained 5 pounds.  I haven't even been eating that much - that's a lie.  I eat PLENTY.  A lot.  I just don't eat AS much as I want to and I don't eat muffins anymore.  Also a lit - I had one the other day only it was gluten free.  NOT WORTH IT.  God - everything is changing.  A club I have been working at is changing there whole booking system and so well - I have to figure something else out.  I am growing and changing and that's that.  I am alive and I want to live.  AND YOU KNOW WHAT?  It's really uncomfortable!  Sigh.  That's okay.  I have lots of tools to help with that.  I would rather be uncomfortable than drunk any day.  Gotta go - love you Bluebie bye!!